Thursday, September 29, 2011

Ladra y Raul, slated on flyer

Guerilla campaign tactics in Hialeah elections are not always very sophisticated. But they are almost always kind of unique to the flavor of Hialeah. And sometimes that makes them silly.

Ladra went from the surreal to the completely ridiculous when she stepped outside City Hall during Wednesday's budget hearing after she was trespassed from the building by police on orders of the chief. As she took a short walk to a group of fellow bogus budget objectors talking outside, a gentleman came up to her and asked if she was Elaine de Valle. "Yes," I said a little hesitantly, thinking he could be another Sergio Gonzalez. But the man only wanted to thank me for my work and hand me a flyer he found on his car in the parking lot at City Hall when he left the council chambers (apparently on his own accord). On the plain letter-sized, white paper, in all capital letters, a very rudimentary flyer with zero creative flair says that former Hialeah Mayor and current candidate Raul Martinez and I are communists.

"It's on all the windshields on all the cars in the parking lot," the gentleman said.

What surprised me was not that someone in Hialeah might call us communists, erroneously of course, since communists don't really exists. Except inside City Hall where they try to conceal information and intimidate their enemies, firing employees for political payback and hiring cronies and campaign contributors. More and more Ladra has heard people compare the current climate at City Hall like Cuba or Venezuela, where individual freedoms and constitutional rights do not exist. Martinez knew this would come as a Democrat who did the most unCuban thing you can do in exile and ran against fomer U.S. Congressman Lincoln Diaz-Balart (R., District 25). Eh, I've been called a communist before, too, and it really doesn't bother me because there is no such thing. The people who call themselves communist are almost without exception opportunists in disguise. And the people who call other people communist really mean to say Democrat.

No, what surprised me -- and perhaps even gave me a little lift in my step -- was that I got top billing. How do you like them apples, Mr. Mayor? "ELAINE DEL VALLE Y RAUL MARTINEZ" Not "RAUL MARTINEZ Y ELAINE DEL VALLE." Oh, just wait one cockamaney minute. That's why I got the first line: the Y is awkward and the writer didn't know if it was proper to use an E instead. Aw, man. Well, still... it's absolutely a dubious yet somewhat thrilling honor to be on a double-header billing with the Raul Martinez no matter where that is. Although we should shoot for a marquee or a headline next, don't you think Mr. Mayor?

While the flyer is an obvious, albeit tiny, attempt at a smear campaign, it is so insignificant and misdirected that it is infinitely more amusing than troubling. I mean, I am not even a candidate. But since I have felt like people are campaigning against me, perhaps someone got confused and thought so, too. I also find the flyer a little fulfilling. In fact, I'm going to have it framed. And I practically had to fight Martinez for it. He wanted to keep it but gave it back when I promised to make him a copy.

Martinez was similarly tickled by the lackluster leaflet -- you know, even though his name was second. At least it's spelled right. Those who know Ladra are nodding their heads because that little annoying and unwanted l in the middle de has been the bane of my existence since grade school. But even with that extra needless letter, the flyer was totally worth having been ejected from the building by order of Police Chief Mark Overton, who should have maybe been outside watching for these political vandals rather than inside harassing council critics and protecting su alcaldito Carlos Hernandez from I don't even know what.

Well, Overton can make it up to me for all the times he's tried to mess it up for me by investigating now. I wonder if there are any video cameras outside City Hall, the courthouse across the street or any of the nearby shops on Palm Avenue that we can peruse for the hours of the meeting.

Now that could be even more amusing than the flyer. I want my own copy on DVD. And I would definitely post it on youtube for everyone's amusement.


  1. Why would anyone waste their time in doing this ? Raul Martinez lost the election against Diaz-Balart and in doing that he automatically tagged himself as a lefty in the minds of a great deal of voters. There is no need to highlight the obvious. What confounds me even more than the act of placing fliers on cars at city hall.. is why would anybody waste their time typing "Elaine Del Valle" albeit in correctly. Most of the inside baseball crowd that reads this comic strip of yours KNOWS it is a fact that you are a paid blabber mouth at the employment of either Local 1102 and/or former Chief Rolando Bolanos whom appears to be on a crusade to cleanse his thuggish bad boy's image (at least 1 of them). The way to look at Raul Martinez is like a tired boxer that wants one last hurrahhh, win one for the gipper and in trying do so ends up battered and bruised not only physically but emotionally and for ever. It's over Elaine you are backing old tired and damaged horses that will disappoint.

  2. 33 days left for Carlitos and the bobbleheads....pack your bags!

  3. Once the Cuban American community appeared to speak mostly in one monolithic voice. Thankfully this is no longer the current reality. One of the blemishes on this past voice of consensus was to brand any alternate viewpoint as Communist. A common mistake was to confuse Communism, an economic system with Totalitarianism, a system of governance. There can be communism without totalitarianism. One of the few examples of pure communism on this earth was the Kibbutzim in Israel. Unfortunately, man is a selfish creature; that is, his biological drives are for self-preservation. Communism, in the abstract, may not be all that evil an ideal, all for the community; but as a real economic policy, it just doesn't work. It didn't work for the Kibbutzim, where the youth grew up and moved away, bored and unchallenged by the mediocrity of Kibbutzim life.
    There was an old saying in Eastern Europe, that Communism works great, until your pretty little daughter wants those better ice skates that are made in West Germany.
    There is a great divide in this country between the very rich and the very poor; as there was during the time of Batista in Cuba.
    You cannot build walls tall enough, or have private security intense enough, to keep out the hungry masses. A hungry man is a dangerous man.
    Right wing Republicans today would have us believe that if you give tax breaks to the rich, then they will invest and create jobs for the poor. The reality is, that if the poor have no money, they can't buy the products that the rich are producing. Trickle down economics, only trickles down your leg. A great impetus for a stalled economy is unemployment benefits, for this money gets immediately placed back into the virtuous.
    economic cycle. If you tax the rich for the opportunity that this country provides, that made them rich, and reinvest this money into the country's infrastructure, creating jobs; then the poor have jobs, and money to purchase the products that the rich are manufacturing.
    And then the rich get richer.
    If someone believes in a different economic system, that doesn't make them a communist. Myself, I remain a Keynesian. This economic theory has its detractors, but it certainly could do no worse than Bush economics.
    And if someone practices Totalitarianism, as during the Robaina administration, this doesn't
    make them communist, as was perhaps portrayed in some of the anti-Robaina rhetoric during the County Mayoral campaign.
    So if you are going to call someone a derogatory name, please try to be more creative and exact in your defamatory efforts. Communist should be limited to a discussion of economics, and not to describe political jousting in a capitalist city, the City of Progress.

  4. Elaine,
    First you admit that you are a pot head
    2nd you admit of being arrested for hitting a policeman
    3 rd you admit of being arrested for hitting a policeman again
    4 th you admit of bring laid off at the herald
    5 th you admit of getting married in Cuba 14 years ago
    6th police report for pushing a city council today at city function
    7 th restraining order on you with councilwoman Garcia
    8 th you will not be able to go to city hall again because of you order
    9 th accused of breaking up a happy family with affair
    10. MORE TO COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. @Payback, You sound desperate. I can't imagine how that feels...Ive never been worried about loosing a position due to a changing of the guard. I highly recommend that you find honest work and stop being a minion. By the way you are really funny, comedy may be your personal gift makes me laugh hard when you continue to chase Ladra all over the blog. Tell us does she keep you up at night? Or does your concern for your future?

  6. I'm confused!? This woman has NO job and yet can afford to keep up with pace of hialeah politics without missing a beat I've seen the news and it appears also that her "non-job" can also pay for a cameraman??! Did anybody take basic math here? There is no doubt that de Valle gets paid to slant, distort, bend and confuse in favor of the union and union candidates.

  7. Be honest. You are not just confused, you are scared out of your mind because I am asking the right questions -- hard questions about no bid contracts and bully pulpit campaigning and botella positions -- and the mainstream media is now picking up on it.

    Thanks for the compliment on my coverage, but I do miss a beat here and there because it is a lot and I do have to work freelance doing website content management and social media for private clients who are NOT politicians. For the record, once again, nobody is paying me to write this blog, though I will soon have a website where everyone can advertise (because I really want to be Ladra full time) and am in the process of having it printed, in Spanish, with advertisers on the back to pay for the printing costs. But nobody is paying me to cover Hialeah politics. Raul Torres is a freelance cameraman who I met recently and who has volunteered to go to events with me because he can then SELL the video to the TV stations like he did last night -- and because we are pitching a reality series. No, really. Don't you think this is better than The Kardashians?

    Am I biased? Yes. I am biased against the current mayor and the disrespectful council president and all the incumbents, really, because I think what they have done with the city and the budget borders on criminal. Am I paid? Again, no. But su alcaldito and Gavelgirl can't take the criticism and send you to discredit me.

    Guess what? It's backfiring. You ought to stop. I think they lost the election yesterday on the sidewalk outside the IHOP at Westland Mall.

  8. What happened at IHOP?

  9. It is not a surprise that the only defense these idiots have to the FACTS written by Ladra is to try to discredit her with lies and innuendo. Kill the messenger is the tactic. It won't work. I can't wait until "El CortaditoPolitico" is printed in Spanish. I will make copies and distribute them. Oh, I'm not being paid either, but my reward will come in less than 2 months. Thank you for trying to discredit Ladra, the more you do that the greater her value.

  10. ok, this is Elaine de valle's mother. I invite anyone to find any proof that she is getting paid for this blog. She does not. And Raul Martinez does not pay her, nor Bolaños. I wish! She and her daughter live with us and maybe if she got paid for this she would have some money. She doesn't. She does this because the public needs a watchdog. There is nobody paying her to vent her political dissatisfaction. There is nobody paying her to go cover what is going on. The cameramen are after a story and since she has been in the newspaper business for a long time, when she tells them something is going to happen, they show up. The fact that the mayor of Hialeah Mr. Hernandez does not answer her questions and instead accuses her of things that are inconsequential, as in: "she married a balsero danzador" == ay please, what has that got to do with anything. Mr. Hernandez's wife used to be a dancer, no? Who cares about that? Again, Elaine de Valle is not getting paid for this. And if anybody can prove it, I challenge them. It's that simple. Show me the money or stop saying nonsense. Maria Elena de Valle

  11. Payback, what the heck are all those admissions?
    More lies. This is funny if it weren't so pathetic. Elaine was never fired from the Herald, you are so misinformed. Ask the Herald. Call their Human Resources Department. I dare you.

  12. elena,realmente es ofensivo k usted ensucie el nombre de periodista !!! usted no es mas k una mercader de la politica sucia y barata !! con k moral usted ataca usted una tecata !!! una persona sin dignidad k vendio su opinion al mejor postor ?? y no tiene k vuscar mi I P mi nombre es martin dominguez i vivo en el 2622w de la 73pl soy votante inscrito y pienso votar por raul martinez y tony vega esto dicho usted me da pena

  13. Elaine,
    Gracias por su trabajo, finalmente alguien esta haciendo lo necesario en esta ciudad, exponiendo las maquinaciones de la canalla que domina la política en esta ciudad, especialmente la lacra que instalo en el poder el Lechón Garrotero Robaina en Hialeah.
    Por supuesto que van a acudir a todo tipo de suciedades para combatirla, ellos están en la alcantarilla y quieren arrastrar a todo el mundo allí, donde están cómodos.

  14. Payback are any of these the "police" you referenced?

    Brent Wooddell, 37, was arrested Thursday night by members of the Broward Sheriff's Office after police say he stole cash from an undercover officer posing as a drug dealer.

    What about this one:

    A former customs officer arrested and accused of impersonating a police officer.

    What about this other one:

    Fugitive cop David Britto fled to Brazil likely to avoid extradition

    Do you recognize this one?

    Miami Beach Cop Derick Kuilan, 30, was charged with four felonies after he allegedly ran over two beachgoers. Kuilan was one of 11 Miami Beach and Hialeah officers who discharged their weapons in May’s Memorial Day weekend shooting.

    How about this one:

    Man With Down Syndrome Beat By Police Over Colostomy Bag

    Payback: You clearly have nothing to add except your bias. And it ain't pretty.

    Take a Good Hard Look at the Evidence ...and I think you'll agree police corruption and misconduct is a cancer. I think we need to call the Florida Department of Agriculture. The disease, is extremely persistent when it becomes established in an area.


I have decided to moderate comments for a while as there are some that are simply off-subject and have become personal and offensive in nature, attacking not just me but others through this venue.

Comments that add substance and context to the news and issues in the blog will be posted. Comments that use profanity and abuse this open space to attack others will be saved and, when called for, sent to the appropriate authorities.